we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
