I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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