he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
