Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize