she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
