My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
