i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Randomize
