I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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