conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.