You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.