marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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