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That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
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