My room smells like vodka and shame
zippers are such a cool invention
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Randomize
