Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
