Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
