Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
