i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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