we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize