So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
