Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
