I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
