He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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