But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
