I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
