Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
