he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
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