The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He? As in you personified your dick?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
A bitchslap is in order.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
