She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
