you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You smell like stripper and shame
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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