Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
