You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
my shit smells like andre
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
