I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize