Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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