Christians are straight up FREAKS
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
