God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
