i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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