also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
