Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
