the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
