Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
