True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
