Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
