It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
