Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.

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(404): View more from Georgia

i may or may not be watching the land before time

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(408): View more from California

I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?

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(231): View more from Michigan

Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(603): View more from New Hampshire

I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.

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(786): View more from Florida

You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"

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(937): View more from Ohio

So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Babe, Have you see my pants?

(718): View more from New York

Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.

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