the vacuum is drunk
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.