Texts From Last Night

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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.

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  (306): We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park. http://tfl.nu/ti46
  Replies (13) Good night (3308) Bad night (1099)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen

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  (850): this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen http://tfl.nu/1apt
  Replies (44) Good night (8042) Bad night (1058)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.

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  (504): Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon. http://tfl.nu/mwyy
  Replies (19) Good night (1226) Bad night (4277)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  You going to midnight mass? we need a dd

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  (386): You going to midnight mass? we need a dd http://tfl.nu/65xe
  Replies (54) Good night (7726) Bad night (906)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.

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  (954): thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much. http://tfl.nu/ll22
  Replies (27) Good night (7548) Bad night (1151)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.

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  (201): Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man. http://tfl.nu/hm6h
  Replies (4) Good night (3355) Bad night (901)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car

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  (202): You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car http://tfl.nu/q6jc
  Replies (1) Good night (1908) Bad night (780)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys

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  (860): We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys http://tfl.nu/i7wv
  Replies (2) Good night (2266) Bad night (1231)
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  (310): View more from California

  She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.

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  (310): She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning. http://tfl.nu/tu4n
  Replies (4) Good night (791) Bad night (1458)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.

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  (217): Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times. http://tfl.nu/ij34
  Replies (4) Good night (2387) Bad night (601)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him

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  (254): I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him http://tfl.nu/r8ta
  Replies (2) Good night (1882) Bad night (602)
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  (+27): View more from South Africa

  Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast

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  (+27): Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast http://tfl.nu/wh5g
  Replies (2) Good night (1430) Bad night (418)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.

  (614): View more from Ohio

  That d should have definitely been an s.

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  (614): I just watched my mom get dick on Skype. (614): That d should have definitely been an s. http://tfl.nu/dkna
  Replies (9) Good night (1110) Bad night (664)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.

  (858): View more from California

  I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.

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  (224): I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman. (858): I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect. http://tfl.nu/7efm
  Replies (3) Good night (763) Bad night (366)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.

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  (402): On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus. http://tfl.nu/e88p
  Replies (4) Good night (931) Bad night (306)

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