Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Holy shit dude........stairs