Need sex. Gaining weight.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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