wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
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