Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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