i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?