Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
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he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
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I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.