Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
