Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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