You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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