How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize