I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
