If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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