This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
she smelled like a LAN party
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
