We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i barfeds in our rink
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
