I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
It's blow job season.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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