I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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