My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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