you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
