Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I am available for nakedness
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
