her vagine was all disorganized.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
