dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
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